Change is surprisingly hard to deal with, it seems, as we get older and more settled in our ways. Yet everything, including our self, is in a constant state of change. Traditionally, we’ve observed this process through the seasons, ritually marking different periods of our lives, in terms of our activities and focus.
The summer is slowly waning into a cool autumn, as I prepare physically and mentally for the winter. With a new house and new flatmates, and a shift from city to countryside living reflecting a change in priorities, I wonder what the next six months will bring. As a traveller, I bask in new experiences, new environments and new people. Nevertheless, letting go and moving on is a tough process. It must include honouring the moments and the season that is to pass away.
It’s time to simplify. It’s been time for a long time. In fact, it’s always time.
I suffered from chronic tension, stress and anxiety for years. Even as I recognized it, observed it, gave it it’s dues, it didn’t and still hasn’t fully left me. It became more noticeable when the issues finally reflected themselves through the physical body. My shoulders, neck, and spinal area have become misaligned, full of knots and tensed up tight. My nervous system feels shot. Indeed, my adrenal glands (the “anti-stress” glands, a backup system for your body to be able to relax after experiencing stress) literally shut down. They could no longer take on the load of stress that my mind was making up in its own games.
So I just hung up all my washing on the clothing line outside, after already waiting over a day for them to dry, for the rain to begin again, pulling the clothes back down and back inside on the radiator. I’ve become used to dry weather again with the first summer Dublin has seen in years. Thought I’d enjoy the sound of the rain and fresh air from the chalet, and write out what’s been going on for the past three weeks as a way to recognize and process all that has happened.
Warm evenings, sitting outdoors by a fire, with the company of good friends, and yummy food. Drinking cider, and herbal teas, discussing shamanism, and other things.
What more can you ask for from a summer?
At ease, among the garden plants, the chairs digging in soil. At peace. Legs bare, skirt of a Cambodian dress rests lightly, air breezes across all my skin. It’s midnight, in Ireland, and I’m warm. A neighbour plays a rattle in the near distance.
Lost in the stars and dark skies spotted with greyish-white clouds from the moon’s reflection along the house-top horizon. I’ve always loved the skies as I’ve travelled. They are a sight in themselves.
Unique to each place. Ever captivating.
“Like a shaman’s drum, the rattle is used to aid in achieving the “altered state of consciousness,” that brainwave frequency measured between 7-8 Hz which is the threshold to journey work, reportedly in the Theta/Alpha range. That is roughly the same as the Earth’s natural frequency, known as part of the “Schumann Frequency” range…”
pink clouds and street lamps light glowing leaves drying, let down hair and sandals a summer’s eve stroll, hugging the canal this strange and long sought welcome for the city drinks are had and dogs are walked, on the grass a friend met by surprise, to then continue on life happens here. energies settle, falling into the night
as slumber sets in with the dusk an artist’s stroll for a summer’s eve.
I hid away in a hostel coffee shop on Anguier street, Dublin 2, with a European latte in a wide rimmed white mug and an egg sandwich on a toasted bagel. I nourished myself with food and with space as I kept sheltered away from the rain outside. Like Cambodia, it is sometimes so obvious how the spontaneity of life revolves around the weather and how much of a blessing it can be. I went with Nature. Allowed it to gently encourage me to break away from my structured plans for the day, take time to eat, and a have a few moments to appreciate exactly where I am.
I looked beyond the large, wall to wall to windows directly ahead of me. A sign, pointing directions to Temple Bar, Dublin Castle, and the Chester Beatty Library, had a glossy glow as raindrops dripped down and onto the grey pavement. All of these places had a significance to me now. And I indulged in appreciation of being on the road again. I’ve been living in Ireland for four months, yet it still feels like I am outside my comfort zone, unaware of what to expect next, entering into unknown surroundings and happenings, and into the mentalities that naturally exist within them. In this sense, I am still travelling. Life is a pilgrimage. An experience to keep us constantly confronting ourselves and pushing our boundaries. Otherwise, what would living really mean?
Sipping up the creamy milky froth, I remembered to breathe. Every act in the string of events that brought me to this moment was fate unfolding through my own intentions. The simplest of intentions cultivated everyday from the heart. In the big picture, everything feels perfect. The busy-ness of my mind that puts boundaries and limitations on me in the every day movements of life are simply distractions. Live through the heart and allow life to flow. Then accept whatever the world brings to us. Because everything that comes to us in life is a creative manifestation of our own doing.
You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny. Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV 4.5